Maybe I am stressed out.
Looking at my post from last month, I can’t really say I have done much, except we’ve now moved into the new place for an entire month, and about 90% of the furniture are in place. I am several months’ salary poorer, and I am feeling overwhelmed.
I pride myself on my indifference to many things around me. For example, I don’t care about entertainment news. I generally don’t give a rats ass about strangers (unless it relates to some institutional issues). And I try not to assign a value to everything (does it make me happy? angry? is it wrong? is it right?). I avoid hypothetical questions, and try not to waste my time dwelling on the past. As such I believe that I have a lot less on my mind than people in general. It also makes me incredibly boring, but that’s a necessary evil.
But lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.
We’re heading into month 2 of our new dwelling. There’s still issues here and there that need to be ironed out – we had some leaks fixed, had the air conditioning put in, still need certain places painted, still need to fill out the kitchen, still need to move shit from my parents house. Nothing a little bit of time and money can’t solve I guess. Moving from my parents house run by my parents and a cleaning lady who comes twice a week, as small as the apartment is, still presents a positive in the amount of household chores I must do. I think it’s just a matter of getting used to it (again) but nevertheless its taking up time. Doing chores is essentially how I relax these days (occasional NBA 4th quarters notwithstanding)
Then there work. Oh work. But who doesn’t have work? And I surely do not have the most stressful of work out there.
So much shit to do, so little time. I have been pushed around by my own obligations of late. I have not had control over my own life for a while now. Maybe this is how life is supposed to be?