Wordiness at 1:30 AM

One of the things about working freelance is that I am now in charge of my own schedule. I am no longer bound by the 9-to-5, no longer bound by weekdays and weekends. There are only awake and asleep, as in “my son is… “.

While at first glance this may sound like it affords me a ton of freedom, the truth is always more than meets the eye. For one thing, my son’s schedule is usually quite regular by design: he goes to bed between 9~10, takes a nap around noon and a nap in the late afternoon. Freedom only comes after he goes to bed. The real pain the arse though is his 7AM wake-up time. There’s no snooze button, there’s no calling in sick; it doesn’t matter if I were hungover or just couldn’t fall asleep the night before, he’s up and I’ve gotta be up too. I think that’s the most painful part of my days now. I could be working till 2am the night before, then have trouble falling asleep because my brain functions with momentum, and I’ve still got to be up when he’s up. It used to be that when I pulled an all-nighter, I’d take the next day off. Or if I’m hungover I’d sleep in a little. No such luxury when a toddler wants to be fed/entertained. Actually Tony’s been pretty good lately about letting us sleep. He’ll wake up, get up in his crib, and if he sees us still in bed, he generally doesn’t try to wake us. This morning he lied in bed and sung to himself for about half an hour before we got up to check on him.

Somehow this whole go-to-bed-as-late-as-you-want-but-must-wake-up-on-time feels a bit like how Taiwanese companies do flex time only for when you get off work. As a result, I never feel like I get enough sleep. Why don’t I just go to bed earlier then, you ask? Well as any parent would know, when your kid finally goes to bed, it doesn’t matter how tired you are you want to cherish those rare interruption-free moments of you have to yourself. It doesn’t matter if the most important thing you have on your agenda that night is to browse facebook and “like” photos of other people travelling and eating, you are not going to bed when you should.

Hence this post, at 0130, with really nothing better to do (well there is, but procrastination is a topic for another day, natch). If I were not a parent, I’d be asleep by now.


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